AGNOSTICISM

I always took my family’s lack of religious beliefs as indication of a lack of moral commitment, but now I’m starting to wonder if aggressive agnosticism is a belief system in its own right. Perhaps my father has given me more of a religious upbringing than I thought. I present these - not unlike the theses of Martin Luther – the tenets of what my people believe:

• Oh we just sometimes meet for coffee on Tuesdays. It’s not an official thing. We usually just go to that Starbucks on Grand, but that’s just because the parking’s right there. Is there somewhere else you’d like to go? Seriously…don’t call or anything if you can’t make it. We’ll see you when we see you.

• The Mel Gibson movie? I didn’t see it….I don’t know. I don’t think that’s really for me. But whatever. Let me know what you think if you see it. Are you going to Netflix it? Well, okay…maybe I should add it to my queue.

• We just call it Christmas break. I think the school listings are calling it Holiday Break. I’m not sure. Same idea.

• Didn’t get the plane tickets. I don’t know…might go next year. I should check with Triple A sometime to see if they have a deal going. Oh no….we didn’t bother with the flight school. Well, it was kind of expensive and I didn’t know if I could commit to *every* Tuesday and Thursday night, so…yeah. It was going to be hard to get everyone together, flying at the same time to the same target. So, I don’t know….we might just send an angry letter instead or something.

• Pork’s fine. Maybe not too much. Personally, I don’t like a lot of salty meat. But sometimes I do, you know?