FUNNY OBSERVATIONAL HUMOR #2

I finally saw "Monster" this past weekend. It was truly moving and sad, and for all the hype about Charlize Theron's transformation, she really was superb. Oh! And the outtakes were hilllaaarrrious!

FUNNY OBSERVATIONAL HUMOR #1

I saw a picture of a pug today and thought it was really cute. This is a real change for me as I used to not find them cute at all. You know what this means, don't you? I'm not racist anymore.

SOME IDEAS I HAVE FOR NEW NETFLIX-LIKE BUSINESSES THAT CATER TO SPECIFIC DEMOGRAPHICS

Netdicks
Netchicks
Nethicks
Netmicks
Netbasqueseperatists

POTENTIAL SITCOM CATCH-PHRASES THAT I’M OFFERING FOR SALE TO ANY INTERESTED PRODUCERS:

“Shirley Bassey?!”
“Well happy birthday, Princess Banana!”
“I’m a-gonna rape-a you eyeballs!”
“Grover Cleveland was the only US president elected to two non-consecutive terms!”
“Hey-yo Rick Wakeman!”
“I am a lineman for the county!”
“Catherine-Zeta Boobies!”
“I’ll put MY penis in YOUR vagina! WITH permission!”
“Oh god! The baby! Not the baby!”
“Shave and a haircut, I pooed!”

THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU MEET IN HEAVEN

1: Steve

2: Guy from the “Police Academy” movies who made noises with his mouth

3: Turns out….Hitler! Yeah, I know! Weird.

4: Guy who’s a friend of a buddy of mine…went to Florida State. Cool dude, BIG partier.

5: Yourself. It’s kind of a “The Prisoner” thing. Kind of fucked up.