Q: Will you sign my cast “AIDS”?
A: Ahh…no, no that’s not….wait, you don’t have a cast…
Q: I have a laptop computer and I haven’t caught AIDS yet. Why is that?
A: Well [laughs], that’s not how….where did you get that idea? Who told you that?
Q: Isn’t it true that you can get AIDS from a box of spaghetti?
A: No, and no one – anywhere – believes that you can.
Q: Bob Newhart?
A: That is barely, *barely* a question.
Q: Sorry….Bob Newhart?
A: [staring intently for five minutes, picking at fingernails]
Q: Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! And yet, I’m a little teapot. How do you explain that?
A: You don’t know anything whatsoever.
Q: If AIDS is spelled with a capital “7”, why do we pronounce it “bananas”?
A: I can’t…I can’t even answer any question that uses any of the same words you just did…
Q: When I get AIDS, will I have to change my name to “Steve”?
A: If I could hit you in the eyes with hammers controlled by my brain, I would.
Q: AIDS is a disease, and yet Wednesday is double-stamp day at my coffeshop. Why?
A: Seriously, I want you to be sodomized with five large cars. And then I want to hit you with a bear.
Q: AIDS?
A: Just….yeah, just fuck you.
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4 comments:
Unfortunately for you, "There are certain topics that are off-limits to comedians: JFK, AIDS, the Holocaust. The Lincoln Assassination just recently became funny. "I need to see this play like I need a hole in the head." [laughs] And I hope to someday live in a world where a person could tell a hilarious AIDS joke. It's one of my dreams."
But I still thought it was funny.
I don't even know why this is so funny.
Maybe we can change to perception of AIDS from "eww, aidsy to fun monkey disease."
Did Steve tell you that, perchance?
Steve....
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